an interesting proposal

presenting a decision sony should certainly make

Many years ago, ahead of the release of mega-crossover Spider-Man: No Way Home, this newsletter took a look at the perplexing existence of Sony’s Spider-Man Universe (SSU), formerly known as the SPUMC, and how, against all odds, the blockbuster success of Venom had allowed this odd project of Spider-Man characters starring in films legally barred from mentioning Spider-Man to exist.

The years have wound on, and with the release of Venom: The Last Dance this weekend, the SSU will now constitute five films released since 2018 - with a sixth, Kraven the Hunter, joining the list in a short handful of weeks. Not to plan the funeral too early, but it seems like this might be it. The Venom movies have wound to a close, with the latest succumbing to the same superhero fatigue that besets most entries in the genre these days, and the other efforts in the franchise are, well… we’ll get there.

Beyond 2024, it seems that this project will only continue in TV form, with a Spider-Man Noir series starring Nicolas Cage that still feels like a bit of a prank. For the big screen, though, you sense that December’s release of Kraven will be it.

It’s not the first superhero mega-franchise to die unplanned, publicly. Back in 2020, Fox’s X-Men films screeched to a halt with the quiet mid-pandemic dumping of New Mutants. Just last year, the DC Extended Universe committed an extended act of franchise seppuku culminating in Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, a film that recently ceased to exist. In this cutthroat world where interest in the genre seems to be waning, where a Joker sequel can flip from guaranteed hit to generational embarrassment in a matter of weeks, saying goodbye on one’s own terms is for the birds. You die when Bob Iger, or Amy Pascal, or David Zaslav, says you’re dead.

Reader, I think this is sad. I think that even stupid and misbegotten examples of corporate overreach should have an opportunity to bring down their own curtain. These sad and unapologetic press tours for unplanned lame duck franchise finales are depressing for all involved. Do you remember how defeated Jason Momoa looked promoting his own movie last year? Do you remember how much he talked about Lobo instead? Enough. We cannot consign the SPUMC to this fate.

With this in mind, I have created a pitch of what I sincerely believe is the right thing to do for everyone involved. A dignified, meaningful exit for this failed cinematic experiment.

I think that Venom, Morbius, the Vulture, Madame Web, the three Spider-Women and Kraven the Hunter should team up to fight Knull.

I know what you’re going to say. “Who’s Knull?”

Knull is the creator of the symbiotes and the King in Black who wields the fearsome Necrosword. Venom: The Last Dance establishes this. Does it do anything with it other than to set up a sequel that will almost certainly never exist? Sure. But that’s why we’re doing this.

“Why is the Vulture in this when he didn’t have his own movie?” Somebody didn’t stay until the mid-credits scene of Morbius, which establishes the Vulture as an ally of Morbius in the SPUMC. That’s why we’re doing this.

“Madame Web is blind and lives in a chair now. How can she contribute?” Firstly, she’s the Nick Fury figure of this unlikely team of anti-heroes. Secondly, the final scene of Madame Web clearly establishes that she can now astral project her body to participate in fights. She can contribute.

“Isn’t Venom dead?” Well, firstly, inconsiderate spoilers for a movie that came out two days ago, but also if you watch the post-credits scene of The Last Dance you’ll clearly see that a piece of the Venom symbiote survived by attaching itself to a cockroach and will likely bond with Cristo Fernandez’ bartender character who will likely transport Venom back to Eddie Brock. Easily done.

A team-up of all these character is the only logical thing to do. We’ve never had an opportunity to see how Venom and Dr. Michael Morbius’ different personalities will spark. We’ve never seen Cassandra Webb struggle to make herself heard as the only woman in the room. We’ve never seen lone wolf Kraven (I assume - I will not see this film in cinemas) struggle to work as part of a team. Will there be romance between Adrian Toomes and Cassandra Webb? Between Sergei Kravenoff and Eddie Brock? There is so much to explore.

The tragedy of the SPUMC is that it never let these characters, with the exception of Venom, truly flourish. Dr. Michael Morbius had only begun to explore his powers as the Living Vampire. Madame Web’s abilities had not flourished yet. The three Spider-Women ended Madame Web without even getting her powers. Kraven still likes animals, I think. One might argue these are flaws of their respective movies, hubristic expectations that there would be sequels for characters no members of the general public care about, but I would argue they were seeds planted patiently for ideas such as this to come along.

Then there’s Knull, clearly and potently set up as the grand overarching villain of the entire franchise. Again, you might be wondering who Knull is, and why we should care about him when he just sat down for a whole movie, and then you might point out that he was introduced in the comics in 2018 so that he hasn’t actually been around as a character for any longer than these movies, but come on! Knull! Did you not hear him in that mid-credits scene? Planets will burn! Thanos got his moment at bat. Even Kang got a whole movie before they kidnapped him and threw him in the sea! Why can’t Knull shine?

The last argument against this team-up is that it wouldn’t make sense because hardly anybody would want to see it. One might say that Morbius and Madame Web were both critically reviled, hated by audiences and were obvious commercial flops, or that even the Venom movies have conspicuously run out of steam. One might argue there is no audience demand for a film like this which would have to shell out for Jared Leto and Tom Hardy’s quotes. It’s an argument based in truth, but one I would refute.

Financial capital is only one way of gauging the success of art. Cultural capital is another. The Substance isn’t in the fifty top-grossing movies of the year, but your coworkers are probably talking about it, and you probably saw one Monstro Elisasue photo somewhere on your social media this week. Industry’s audience can fit in one room, but it has picked up Succession’s small constellation of highly successful recap podcasts and postmorterm interviews. If we just talked about eyeballs as the only metric, then we’d worship at the altar of NCIS as a culture. Do you want to live in that world?

Imagine the first trailer dropping for this film. Imagine the reaction videos to the big team-up shot of Venom, Morbius, Madame Web, Kraven, Spider-Woman, Spider-Woman, Spider-Woman and Vulture facing off against Knull. The GIFs that would be made of Madame Web’s world-weary reaction to Morbius’ self-serious boasting. This film would be a social media sensation, a factory for discussion. Would any of this translate into commercial success? God no, it wouldn’t. Almost nobody who joked about these past movies actually saw them. Everyone would watch clips of this thing off a camrip on opening weekend. But would it make its own indelible mark upon the culture? Certainly it would.

So, Amy Pascal and Avi Arad, if you’re reading this - find that $150 million in the couch cushions. That kind of money is nothing to you. What else would you spend it on? This film would create jobs, would funnel investment into local communities where shooting takes place. This film would make people in this sad, sick world happy for a fleeting second. This film would be a social good.

You know what to do. And you’re rich, so you can easily data-scrape for my number and email and probably my address. I’m waiting to have the discussion. Call me.